I.

Thou shalt have no other false Gods before me, such as freedom, financial independence and the worship of Jesus Christ

II.

As it is written in the holy scriptures of Obamacare, honor thy “real” father and thy mother until they need to be sacrificed by my exalted death panels

III.

Thou shalt not possess unto thee any graven images and this shall include copies of my fake long-form birth certificate

IV.

Remember to keep the tax day holy, April 15th, for it is written, that he that has enough to eat shall be taxed into oblivion.

V.

Thou shalt not kill, unless operating under the authority of the NDAA, seeking to abort a helpless baby, or unless the victims name is Chris Stevens and he runs guns for the CIA, to al-Qaeda, into Libya and Syria.

VI.

Thou shalt not commit adultery unless you are a senior member of my cabinet, then, anything that possesses breath is fair game for thy personal pleasure.

VII.

Thou shalt not discriminate against thy fellow citizens unless they are Caucasian, Christian, or believes in the Constitution

VIII.

Thou shalt not steal, unless you are a recipient of QE3, own a megabank or are a community organizer. Only then is it acceptable to take money from middle class Americans and give it to illegal immigrants and your campaign contributors at the Federal Reserve and on Wall Street.

IX.

Thou Shalt not make unto thee any graven image unless it is the hammer and sickle.

X.

Thou shalt consume GMO’s, fluoride and partake in vaccines.